Nothing worse to learn about !

Circa 1994 when I first heard the ‘F’ word and thence on the learning curve has been steep. It’s true that that they don’t teach curse words at a sex-ed class but then we did not have those either. Indian education system boasts of high standards and rolling out geniuses but when it comes to birds-n-bees we have to rely on street talks, friendly banter, the shady shop around the corner and after hour television.

I was in 5^th standard and we were playing soccer on the field outside school when there was brief scuffle and as it broke apart a boy, I knew was in the same class as me, shouted “Take that you @##$@@@%!^@#*”

Ok that’s a new word for me so I later went upto this guy and asked him “You just uttered something a while back which did not sound Hindi to me. What was that?” And he told me that he was sitting in his Dad’s shop two days back when he heard some customer use that word hotly and that’s how he picked it up and that’s how mostly all of us do. No one sits you down and writes on the white board for you spelling out the phonetics, you just take it off the airwaves. But that is not where the learning stops. It gets worse or should I say exciting.

I’ am in the school bus riding back home when a guy, who’s 4 years senior to me, is talking to his friend about something called a condom and from the auxiliary information I can make out that it’s not a term in physics and neither in chemistry and to say biology would be to a digress a lot. So when I get back home and I ‘am having lunch with my mom I ask her “Mom, what’s a condom?”. I swear to God her hand stopped midway to her mouth. “Where did you hear that?” “Just some guys in the bus were talking about it” “It’s something you do not need to know about now. You need to grow up”. And the matter was buried. RIP.

Years progressed and I kept assimilating information with which I had no idea what to do. When I learned about Faraday’s law I knew that I would need it when I studied turbines, when I leaned Pascal’s law I knew I’d need it n fluid dynamics but when I learned the F-word, the C,P,G,L, and what not words I was at a loss of what do with this information. Clandestine information was exciting but overwhelming. And later when I learned that birds do it, bees do it and even educated fleas do it my floodgates were creaking already.

If it only had been the ending to it. Internet hit India big-time during the late 90’s and my knowledge bank surged and by surged I do mean phenomenal, exponential and tsunamial. Few years later I entered hostel life and then I hit the freeway. No u-turns and full speed ahead.

15 years later it seems like I have nothing more left to learn. People keep saying that you are always learning. True! Very True! But about science, finance, current affairs, Obama’s deeds, Pak’s misdoings,  Dow Jones crash but not anymore about “Bad Stuff” that you need to stow away under lock and key until you are an adult.

That’s what adulthood snatches away from you. A twisted, grey but really awesome childhood.