I see the blue swimming pool stretching in front and my moist feet rests on the side of the 5ft end. Any person who hasn’t surrendered oneself to gravity before does hesitate; after all we aren’t hard wired to plunge. I took a breath and left the ledge and hit the water at a pretty obtuse angle. Slap! So that’s what Tom feels like when, during the unsuccessful chase of Jerry, he lands face first on the water and breaks into a dozen pieces. It was just the start of endearment.
It was some million summers back and I rushed upstairs to our second floor bedroom and closed the door behind me. I went into the bathroom and locked the door shut. I took out the cell phone and dialed the number. I was sitting on the toilet seat. The phone at the other end rang and she picked it up. On a Richter scale my heartbeat was over 10 now.
I said something like ‘hey it’s me’ followed by some blurb. The bathroom tile was reflecting my face and honestly I looked sick. ‘There is thing I’ve been meaning to tell you since a long time’ was the prelude to the spiraling disaster. I was wanting to say I love you but eventually I hung up without saying those exact words and it was a good thing being where I was. I might have peed my pants. Trivial things are forgotten. She even asked me to come over to talk things out but I took a rain check, flushed and went down for lunch. Chicken is better than a face-off.
Few years later in Mumbai, it was day before Christmas and the mall was lit up. A gigantic tree reached up to the ceiling and was adorned with muted lights and confetti. We were having dinner in the food court and I remember watching the people streaming out of the last movie screening. I looked at my watch and it was around midnight. We walked past the bookstore towards the escalator and I glanced around to see the display window showing some bestseller. We went down one level and we turned around to go down to the next.
‘Listen can we talk?’ She knew it and there, moments which seemed like ages later, I said it. Ok, so there is this rule of grammar that the school, for a reason I can appreciate, never teaches you. In a situation like this if you ever hear the words ‘but’, ‘although’ and however’ it’s time for a beating retreat. It was Christmas by now and the kids were cheering at the base of the tree. ‘Have fun while you can’ I murmured to them under my breath and walked out. Took an auto back home and on the way deleted all the texts on my cell phone. Therapeutic effect.
Years later and a few time zones to the left. UK gets really cold during the month of November. It hadn’t started snowing yet but the wind was biting and the days had grown short. We were all sitting in the lecture room poring over our laptops and trying to figure out something immaterial and boring. The instant messenger however was buzzing with activity. She was sitting next to me and we were chatting. The window was an overpopulated mess of smileys and emoticons. I had made some joke about Richard Branson getting the opportunity to go into a virgin everyday and was feeling really stupid about it when this overpowering urge gripped me.
I glanced over to my left and saw her. Looked down on my keypad and typed ‘this might be inappropriate but I’ am getting this feeling that I like you’. Return key. She was staring ahead at the blackboard. Darn it, look down. She eventually did and a smiley appeared on my screen. Oxford was a really nice place.
The water gushed against my face and filled up my mouth. I surfaced. The dive had hurt me but then in all probability I had jumped in wrongly. I swam to the edge and came out of the pool. Dripping, I stood there rubbing my chest, which I had bruised.
‘Headfirst, Headfirst, Headfirst’ I repeated, a deep breath, closed my eyes and took the plunge again.
